The Nossiter Net
The net that shall enmesh them all
Edited, Written, and Published by Josh Nossiter
Ensign's Salute
Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
The Nossiter Net is cast  to
snare some of  the riper
rascalities of the day.  
Send a letter to the

What a relief! Senator John Ensign's colleagues
accepted his apology. Indeed, according to the
Washington Post, the Nevadan was applauded and
cheered by his fellow GOPs after asking their pardon
for bonking a married staffer. The Post didn't say why
the broken Promise Keeper merited not just forgiveness
but actual acclaim, but those of us who follow the
Republican Party with keen fascination can make an
educated guess or two.

For one thing, the bonkee in question is female. As the
minority party, representing an-ever diminishing
constituency, the GOP is intent on regaining power any
way it can. The Republicans have therefore adopted
procreation as a party platform, reasoning that the fruits
of their  loins will be chips off the old block and
themselves future Republicans. The more the current
generation screws, the greater the number of next
generation Republicans. Hence too their aversion to
birth control, abortion, and homosexuality, all of which
get in the way of Republican reproduction.

Furthermore Republicans tend in the main to be obese
old men. For such, evidence of residual virility, such as
the capacity to screw a staff member, is eminently
cheer-worthy. For the rest of us perhaps, the idea of
doughy wrinklies like the concupiscent Rush Limbaugh
or the much-married Newt Gingrich having sex is
distasteful, if not downright nightmarish. Republicans
on the other hand have no problem with the image of
Limbaugh's bared man-boobs and mountainous pasty
buttocks playing the two-backed beast (or given
Limbaugh's generous lines, three-backed). For them it's
merely a sign that conservative vital signs haven't flat-
lined, that conservatism itself isn't the limp force it
appears to be.

Finally Ensign's colleagues cheered him because he
manned-up and accepted responsibility for his actions.
Of course some might find less than manly the fact that
he did so under duress, apparently under threat from
the cuckolded husband. And that according to the Post,
Ensign sneaked in and out of the meeting by back-stairs
and side-entrances in order to evade unwelcome
attention from the press. But no Republican would
think that way. Telling the truth only when you have to
while creeping and skulking about is the very definition
of manhood for the GOP.

©Joshua C. Nossiter, 2009

                                       * * * * *

A NOTE TO READERS ***Update***
Another three week plus hiatus, from April 30th until May 23rd, again
due to Yahoo Geocities dismal service.

There was nothing new at The Nossiter Net between March 3rd and
April 26th, 2007, nearly eight weeks.  The reason:  tech sabotage.
Yahoo Geocities, the host for this site, denied access for the entire
period.  At one point, they even managed to lose all the files.  In many
discussions with Yahoo staff, no clear explanation was forthcoming.  
No one seemed able to fix the problem.  Ruling out the possibility of
Dubbya’s revenge, I finally wrote to Mr. Terry Semel, Chairman and
CEO of Yahoo! Inc and described the ordeal the page had undergone
since the beginning of March.  A week later, a helpful Yahooo engineer
named Jason called.  He had my letter before him.  Though he couldn’t
do the repairs on on the spot, he promised a fix by the next day.  That
was April 26th, nearly two months after shutting me down in the first

The Nossiter Net apologizes, which is more than I can say for Yahoo

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